


I Will Always Love You

by itislacey



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Chronic Illness, Disease, Fluff, Happy Ending, Illness, M/M, i hope that's not a false tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 06:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8566963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itislacey/pseuds/itislacey
Summary: Dan was diagnosed with hypothyroidism a few months back, and he finds it rather difficult to accept the changes it’s making to his body. But of course, Phil doesn’t care about those changes. He will always love Dan. And he’s going to show him as much.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I want to say that I’m no expert in Hypothyroidism, but I am familiar with it on some level. It’s not a disease that kills or anything, it just changes certain things in one’s body. I do not mean for this fic to be offensive in any way, but I will list all possible triggers in the warnings below. If you have any concerns regarding my fic, please shoot me a comment!

Although it had been a few months since Dan was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, it still didn’t make day to day life any easier. Especially living in a place that was always so cold and dreary. It only made his symptoms worse.

For one, he could never get warm, so it seemed. He didn’t know that his thyroid regulated body temperature until his doctor told him a few months back. He was also unaware of how it maintained energy levels, and always left him more tired than usual. And there were a few other things he rather not bring to light, but one of them was a lot harder to hide than the rest, and that was weight gain. 

Dan had always been sort of slim, with the smallest pudge of a stomach, but ever since his thyroid started acting up, he had put on some weight. And by some, he meant quite a bit. It was a little chunky, with his old shirts not quite fitting him the same, leaving the bottom of his stomach to hang out from beneath his shirt. It made him feel gross and insecure, which is why he bundled himself in blankets most days. So he he wouldn’t have to see it. And to help him stay warm, obviously.

It was a particularly cold day in England, and Dan had lit a fire in the fireplace to warm the flat up. Phil had run out to the store, and would be back any minute, so while Dan waited for his main source of warmth to return, he sat in front of the fireplace with a blanket around him. He still shivered, despite the hot, orange flames.

After a few minutes, Dan got up to use the bathroom. He left his blanket behind, though he rather take it with him. He used to, up until Phil requested that he stop taking their blankets into the bathroom, because, one, the bathroom was full of germs and didn’t smell the best, even if it was clean, and, two, Phil knew that Dan only took it to cover himself up from the mirror, knowing he didn’t want to see his reflection. It had took a few weeks on convincing and trying, but Dan finally managed to ditch the blanket each time he went to the bathroom.

Just as Dan finished using the bathroom, he made a beeline for the door, but out of the corner of his eye, he caught his reflection, and was instantly pulled in by the image looking back at him. 

He wore his white, Alienware, long sleeved shirt today. The one that used to be just a tad bit loose on him, now barely fit over his flabby arms and low-hanging stomach. The sleeves were just a little too tight, and his stomach peeked out from below the hem. He poked one finger at it, seeing it jiggle slightly. 

“Whatcha doing, Dan?” Phil’s familiar voice said from behind him.

Dan looked up, catching Phil’s gaze in the mirror. He hadn’t even heard him open the door to peek in. Instantly, Dan gripped the bottom of his shirt and pulled it down, doing his best to cover his large stomach. 

Phil clicked his tongue, grabbing Dan by one wrist and pulling him from the bathroom. He led him down the hall and back into the lounge, pointing towards the spot in front of the fireplace for him to sit. Dan obeyed, picked up the blanket to wrap around himself again.

“No, give me that,” Phil said, gesturing for the black blanket Dan was holding. He frowned, but handed it to Phil anyway. 

Phil chucked it across the room, and placed both hands on Dan’s shoulders, slowly pushing him back so he was lying on the floor. Dan’s shirt rode up, and the boy tried to grab it to pull it back down, but Phil gripped his wrists and pinned them above his head. Dan let out a low whine, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

Gently, Phil grabbed Dan’s shirt, pushing it up so all of Dan’s stomach and chest were exposed. He leaned down and kissed the center of his stomach, letting his lips linger for just a second. 

One tear fell from Dan’s eye, and Phil’s cool, delicate finger, wiped the streak away. “Why are you crying, Dan?” Phil murmured, pressing another kiss to his exposed belly. 

“I look gross,” Dan admitted, closing his eyes so he didn’t have to see the extra fat his body was storing. 

“Open your eyes,” Phil commanded gently. “I want you to look at me.” 

Dan did as he was told, trying his best not to see the skin Phil kept kissing, but he just couldn’t help it. He looked down, seeing the faint - but still there - stretch marks his growing stomach had created when he couldn’t shed the weight he kept putting on. 

“I said me,” Phil said, when he noticed Dan looking at his stomach he seemed to hate so much. Dan’s eyes trailed upwards until they met Phil’s. “You have no reason to be sad.” 

“Yes I do,” Dan pouted. 

“Tell me why you think you should be sad.” 

“Because I’m not the same anymore, Phil. I look like a whale, I’m always cold, and I can’t keep up with you anymore. I’m almost thirty, and I feel like I’m eighty years old. I’m always tired and cold and cranky, and on top of that, I put on more weight than I can lose. My old clothes don’t fit. They’re all too small and show off my muffin top, and I  _ hate  _ it, Phil!” Tears streamed from his eyes rapidly, but no sound escaped his lips.

Phil leaned forward, pressing kisses to his falling tears, while rubbing small circles on Dan’s stomach. “Don’t hate a single thing about yourself, Dan Howell. I, for one, don’t think you look like a whale. Your muffin top is cute to me. I love the way I can grab it, because then I have more of you to hang onto when we cuddle when you’re cold or sleepy. I like the afternoon cuddles when you doze off on my lap. I like  _ you _ . Every inch of you.” 

“But I’m not the same,” Dan whimpered. 

“Yes, you are. Just because your appearance has changed, doesn’t mean you have. You’re the same Dan I met way back when, and you’re the same Dan now. It doesn’t matter if you’re a little chunkier, or if you’re always tired, or even cold. I will always love you.” He pressed his lips against Dan, kissing him with a slow, but loving, passion. “And a little more weight is a little more of you I get to love.” He lowered himself, peppering kisses to different parts of Dan’s stomach, listening to the boy try not to giggle at the tickling feeling. 

“I don’t know why you still love me,” Dan mumbled, all trace of happiness gone. It wasn’t uncommon for him. To go from happy to sad in the blink of an eye. Sudden mood changes were a part of his condition. 

“How could I ever stop?” Phil asked, raising up so he could look Dan in the eye.

Dan shrugged, finding himself at a loss for words. It was then Phil pulled Dan’s shirt back down, grabbing him under the arms and pulling him up. 

Phil shifted into a position where Dan’s back was pressed up against his chest, and they were now looking into the fireplace, watching the hot flames dance and crackle. 

“Maybe I should go back to the doctor,” Dan said, his eyes drifting closed. He must be getting sleepy. “Get some of the medication they told us about.” 

“The ones where they will regulate your your hormones for you?” 

“Yeah,” Dan mumbled. “It would help with this.” He lazily gestured to himself before adding, “And my mood swings.” 

“If that’s what you want, then we can schedule an appointment and see about it.” 

Dan nodded slowly. “That’s what I want. I’m tired of changing constantly. Not just in mood, but from hot to cold and the excessive weight gain. I want to go back to how I was a few years ago. I want to be able to keep up with you and not let this disease get me down.” 

Phil’s heart swelled at his confession. He smiled into Dan’s hair, pressing one kiss atop his head. “How about I call tomorrow and get you in. Deal?” 

“Deal.” 

“But just remember, the medicine won’t work overnight. It will take some time. I know patience isn’t your thing.” 

Dan laughed lowly. “That’s okay. I’m willing to wait if it means I can keep up with you again someday.” 

“You’ll never fall behind me, Dan. Ever. I’m always with you. For now, let’s just take one step at a time.” Phil gently lowered the both of them to where they were lying on the floor, Dan curling into Phil to be the little spoon. 

They laid like that for awhile. It didn’t take long for Dan to doze off, and as Phil cuddled the sleeping boy, he couldn’t help but run his fingers over Dan’s pudgy tummy. Phil knew that was Dan’s most insecure feature, but to Phil, he loved his tummy just as much as he loved it a few years ago when it was flat and you could almost see his ribs. 

Phil would never let some disease get in the way of loving Dan. No, this wasn’t a disease that would kill him, and Phil was more than thankful for that. But he would never let something as silly as changing Dan’s appearance and mood, get in the way of their relationship. Dan might not see it at times, but he was the same man he was when they met all those years ago. And he always would be. No matter what obstacle the world throws their way, Phil knows their love will always crush it into pieces. Even if it was something as small as a disease known as hypothyroidism. 


End file.
